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Been a while . . . .

Wow, nearly 2 months since I wrote something . . . Anyhow, here I go:

The fact that several people I went to high school with are either married, getting married or have kids does make me feel old. However, that is how they have taken their path in life where I have done differently (and yes I'll admit I've made mistakes I wish I could erase).

That being said, I am not so sure if marriage/parenthood is right for me. I have mixed emotions on it . . on one hand, it would be nice to have a family and keep my family name going (I have no siblings, neither does my father); on the other hand, if my heart is not 100% in it, I won't even bother. And there's nothing wrong with being an LLB (life long bachelor), I only have to find out what is right for ME . . .


I've seen this entry a few times tonight and decided to comment. I think you are lonely for a variety of reasons. I think you are being pressured by your parents for them not having grandchildren and some of your former classmates have moved on in life and started families of their own. Being an only child that happens to be a bachelor makes it even harder. Before you can please others, you have to please and be happy with yourself first.

Your time will come when it's ready. It's your decision, not theirs.

Am I happy in my marriage? I no longer care because it was over three years ago and it's not up to him, he knew the rules when he moved back in as a roommate. I had to get married because I became pregnant back in 1997, so I was very miserable. I am happy as a lesbian and happy as a mother. I am finally happy with myself because I came to terms with who I really am. I finally learned to love myself and you need to love yourself too despite of what others expect or want. My family isn't happy with my sexual orientation but that is not up to them, it's up to me and that is all that counts. They are slowly accepting it and getting over it.

So you do what makes you happy and comfortable, don't worry about former classmates or parents. They will get over it. If you want to be a life long bachelor good for you. If you want to meet a nice lady and get married and have a family, good for you. But do it on your own accord, not because others expect it. And never rush it or you'll be miserable.